One of the most significant decisions in adoption is the level of contact between birth parents and adoptive families. Open and closed adoptions represent opposite ends of a spectrum, with many families choosing arrangements somewhere in between. Understanding your options helps you make choices aligned with everyone's interests.
What Is a Closed Adoption?
In a closed adoption, no identifying information is shared between birth and adoptive families, and there is no ongoing contact after placement. Birth and adoptive parents don't know each other's identities, and the child grows up without direct connection to their birth family.
Historically, closed adoptions were the norm—secrecy was seen as protecting everyone involved. Today, closed adoptions are less common as research shows children generally benefit from some knowledge of their origins.
What Is an Open Adoption?
Open adoption involves ongoing contact and communication between birth and adoptive families. The degree of openness varies widely—from occasional photo exchanges to regular in-person visits. Open adoption allows children to know their birth parents and understand their origins.
Contact arrangements are tailored to each situation. Some families exchange letters annually through an intermediary. Others have direct contact with frequent visits. Openness can evolve over time as circumstances and comfort levels change.
Semi-Open Adoption
Many adoptions fall between fully open and fully closed. In semi-open adoption, families exchange non-identifying information—photos, updates, letters—through an intermediary like the adoption agency. This allows connection without direct contact or identity disclosure.
Semi-open arrangements may become more open over time if both families become comfortable with increased contact.
Benefits of Open Adoption
Research increasingly supports openness in adoption. Children in open adoptions often have stronger identity development and fewer questions about their origins. They can understand why adoption was chosen without feeling abandoned or rejected.
Birth parents may experience less grief and better long-term adjustment when they know their child is thriving. Adoptive parents can access medical history, answer their child's questions, and don't carry secrets.
Challenges of Open Adoption
Open adoption requires ongoing relationship management. Boundaries must be established and maintained. Questions arise about how often to communicate, what role birth parents play, and how to handle disagreements.
Some birth parents may struggle with boundaries or have unstable circumstances that complicate contact. Adoptive parents may feel insecure about their parental role. These challenges are manageable with clear agreements and sometimes professional support.
Legal Enforceability
Open adoption agreements have varying legal enforceability depending on your state. Many states don't enforce post-adoption contact agreements—they're treated as good-faith understandings rather than binding contracts.
Some states allow enforceable contact agreements, particularly when courts determine contact is in the child's best interest. Know your state's law and understand that enforcement may be limited regardless of what's promised.
Birth Parent Perspectives
Most birth parents today prefer some level of openness. Knowing their child is safe and loved provides comfort. Open adoption allows them to maintain a relationship, even if it's different from parenting.
Birth parents considering closed adoption should understand that closed records are increasingly opened—adopted adults now have more access to birth records in many states.
Adoptive Parent Perspectives
Some adoptive parents fear that open adoption means "co-parenting" or threatens their parental authority. In reality, adoptive parents remain the legal and psychological parents. Birth parents in open adoptions typically occupy a role more like extended family.
Many adoptive parents come to value openness because it helps their child and eliminates secrets that could create problems later.
The Child's Perspective
Adopted children have the most at stake. Most adopted people, when asked, prefer access to information about their origins. Open adoption answers the "why" questions that trouble many adoptees.
However, each child is different. Some embrace contact with birth family; others aren't interested. Flexibility and following the child's lead as they mature produces the best outcomes.
Making the Decision
Consider what's best for the child long-term, not just what feels comfortable now. You can always become more open later, but establishing connection from the start is easier than creating it later.
Discuss preferences honestly with birth parents, and work with your adoption professional to create realistic agreements.
Getting Legal Help
An adoption attorney can explain your state's laws on open adoption agreements, help draft contact arrangements, and advise on enforceability issues. They can also help modify arrangements as circumstances change.